Calm chapter 2

Can you just calm down...'. Cue the explosion. Few people like to be told to calm down, especially when they're emotionally charged. Those words are like magic. They have the power to turn smoldering flames into an inferno. But even if you don't like being told to, there are major benefits to staying calm in emotional situations. And, not surprisingly, those benefits are seem most clearly in conflict.


As karate regularly demonstrates, if an opponent makes you upset, angry or mad they'll have an advantage. You see, angry fighters are tense fighters. their reactions are slower. And their minds are clouded with emotions. In contrast, clam opponents have a daunting aura. Their unperturbed persona portrays strength and confidence. One look into their eyes is enough to make you doubt your ability.


Some people assume you need to get fired up to fight. But the complete opposite is true. In karate you soon learn to lose tour temper permanently. Because, as with being relaxed, being calm provides a neutral position from which you can think and act. You see clearer, act faster and become a more formidable opponent. But being calm isn't all about knowing how to win a fight. There are benefits for everyday life too.


For example, when you're able to stay calm during emotional episodes, you're less likely to overreact and cause unnecessary damage to relationships. Make no mistake: there's nothing wrong with strong emotions; it's your response to them that counts. So if you're angry, for instance, you can choose to stay present with experience of anger, let it pass, and decide how to respond when you're in a clearer head space, rather than being reactive and out of control.


How? Acknowledge the emotion. Say to yourself: ' I feel angry', and then pay attention to the body sensations associated with it. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the body. This practice alone has the power to reduce the strength of the emotion. And in the clam space that this practice creates, you'll be less likely to overreact. What's more, there will be no need to deny your feelings or turn them inwards where they may accumulate.

                       If you lose our head you won't be able to use it.

A calm mind is helpful in a crisis too. It's like being in the eye of a storm, totally untouched by the strong winds that surround you. In this position you can see right through the matter and make decisions. It sounds obvious, but if you lose your head you won't be able to use it. So learn to stay calm under pressure. Now I'm aware some people will find it easier than others to adopt this way of being. Some personality types are more disposed to calmness than others. But we can all make improvements, no matter where we stand on the continuum.

Understand: you don't need to get swept away by your emotion. Stay still and let it unfold. No need to judge it. Just acknowledged it watch it pass. And in the calm space you create, your action will be most appropriate action. Not a reaction.