Chapter 15 Non-judgemental

We all have preferences. And there'll always be some things that we'll consider to be better than others. For example, you might prefer rum and raisin ice cream. I might prefer plain vanilla. We have different tastes. Fine. But only if ... You see, we just can't seem to accept other people may not eat that? It's awful'. And we try to convert them: 'You don't know what you're missing. Try this'. But for better relationships and peace of mind we need to understand that what is better for us might be worse for someone else.

Now i know the above example may sound trivial. I'm sure most people don't care about what others think when it comes to their choice of ice cream. It's a little more irritating, however,when we're being judged on our view of the world. But no matter how we feel about being judged we still find it difficult not to judge others. We believe our ways is the best way. But what's right for us is not necessarily right for everyone.

Most of us have opinions about what other people would do to get out of a difficult situation or to make their life better. We say, 'I would never do that . . .'. But how do we know if we've never been in that same situation? Can we be sure we would act differently? Often we're no better than a back-seat driver. We judge and criticize other people's action when we've never been in the hot seat.

I'm sure you want the best for the people you care about most. You want to give them the 'best' advice. But that advice is usually based on your preferences. For example, you may want others to spend how you spend, eat how you eat, live how you live and believe what you believe. But your preferences are your preferences. In the end, they might not be what they think is right for themselves. They may make bad choices but that's how people learn. Let them make their mistakes. And focus on learning from your own.

Understand: we can't always see the benefits that will come from another person's experience. We might judge it as being 'not right' but it could be right up their street. In other words, where people find themselves in this moment may be the prefect place for them, given where they are heading.