Chapter 22 Change

Life is about growing. If you don't change, you don't grow. If you don't grow, be prepared to feel massive amounts of pain. You see, life wants the best for us. It wants us to be the best we can be. So iy guides us with a nudge. But if we ignore the nudge, it whacks us sideways.

Think about it: when do we finally learn about people management? When we lose our key people. When do we start to seek a better work/life balance? When our body or family apart. When do we try to find our true vocation? After we're been passed up for promotion or made redundant. For many, if there's no pain then there's no impetus to change. But life doesn't have to be serious of painful lessons, if we listen to the gentle signals. You see, pain doesn't come suddenly - it increase bit by bit. It guides us with abeam of light. Most people change, however, not because they see the light, but because they feel the heat.

Often people are reluctant to change it's accompanied with awkwardness and discomfort. You have to give up security for a while. It takes you out of your comfort zone. For some it could mean giving up a familiar but limiting pattern of behavior, safe but unrewarding work, or a relationship that has lost its meaning. But if you're dynamic, open-minded and flexible you can transform your experience of change. Especially when life is moving in the wrong direction.

But if change is already burning at the seat of your pants, here's the best way to turn down the heat. First, accept your current situation and resist the urge to act impulsively. Now I'm not suggesting you just put up with it. What you need to do is look at it without slipping into habitual reactions. Say: 'Okay, I see you. I know this is a call to change. Now I'm going to take some time to consider the most appropriate response'.

Next, take responsibility for your situation. Of course you're hardly responsible if your roof caves in because of a storm. However, if you don't take responsibility for whatever happens, you're likely yo fail into the unhelpful victim mindset. What you need to be asking yourself is: 'How can I grow from this experience?'.

Then, identify what you need to change to deal with the situation. This is where your home in on the lesson you need to learn. Your situation may be teaching you to be more assertive, a more attentive partner or to achieve a balance between life and work.

Finally, take action. For the entire course of your time on this earth you'll be presented with lessons to learn. Every change you make will catapult you further along the path to fulfillment. In every lesson there is an opportunity for anew and better life.