Chapter 49 Joy

Still searching? Will this be it - the final piece in the puzzle, the answer or secret that will put and end to the search? Most of our life is spent searching. And when we're not searching we're chasing or avoiding; constantly doing stuff to find what most of us are looking for - sustainable happiness.

But we fail to understand that all this doing - searching, chasing and avoiding - is actually taking us further away from where we want to be. So we keep on striving for for the impossible goal of sustainable happiness  In the process, we take our eye off what really matters, we get distracted and life slips on by. But we don't see the trap. Why? I suppose because it has never been explained to us. Sure we've all heard that material things don't explained to us. Sure, we've all heard that material things don't necessarily bring happiness. there's more to life than ... and the rest. But think about it this way.

Life is change so things will never stay exactly the way we would like them to be. Things will always be adapting, growing, improving, ageing and wearing out. Even happiness will change. It will never stick around for ever. It will always be coming and going. And that coming and going may not be an even split. As we all know, bad days are not always followed by good days. Sometimes we experience a string of really crap
days that last for weeks, months or even years. There's no pattern, no certainty and no hope of sustainable happiness.

But that's fine. If you let it be. You see, we don't need sustainable happiness, greater happiness that sticks around a bit longer. That's not what we're really looking for anyway. What we really want is lasting fulfillment  satisfaction and joy. The great news is, that's something we can make happen. It's something we can control.
It's something we can all achieve. But to achieve it, first we need to be comfortable with discomfort. That's the how.

You see, happiness occurs when life goes our way. It's accompanied by feelings of pleasure, comfort and pleasantness. In contrast, unhappiness occurs when life refuses to give us what we want. It's accompanied by feelings of discomfort and pain. I'm sure you don't need telling this. But life will not always go your way. So discomfort and pain are inevitable. At bottom, you're left with two options: resist the pain and discomfort, or embrace it. I recommended the latter.

But don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you actively seek out pain, or inflict it on yourself. What I am suggesting, though, is a different approach towards pain: acknowledge it, welcome it and it and let it be. How? Focus on the sensation of pain in the body. Stay with it. Don't try to avoid it. So if you have a knot in your stomach, then focus on that tense, uncomfortable feeling and explore it. That's the way to transform it. And if life is going well, embrace that pleasure too - without clinging to it. Because when we hold on, we become tense. Joy has no tension in it. It's a total acceptance of life as it is in each moment.