Most of us have been there. Somebody says something really hurtful and, before you know it, you’ve lashed out back at them. Either that or gone away to hide in a corner. Anger or anxiety; fight or flight. It’s all down to basic instincts. When you feel you’re under attack (and that could be emotionally, verbally or physically) most people attack back, or run away. It’s deeply ingrained. But a more evolved response would be to show compassion.
Most people are hurting, what they need is healing, not another beating.
Most people you meet are fighting a difficult battle. They’re battling with stressful jobs, unfulfilled jobs, difficult relationships, financial troubles or ill health. Few of us get through life without a major difficultly. Most people are hurting. And let’s face it:hurting people hurt people. So be kind. What they need is healing, not another beating. It’s tough, I know, especially when you’ve been hurt by the person you want to be kind to.But remember, compassion is the ability to treat people better than (you think) they deserve.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should put up with abuse. If someone is attacking you, defend yourself. Kindnessdoesn’t mean weakness. So take appropriate action, but compassionate. I guess the key word here is ‘appropriate’because if (figuratively speaking) you can warn off an aggressor with a firm hand, why use a fist?
That’s not all. You need to understand this: kindness begets kindness. Take holidays, for example. When we’re relaxed and on holiday we become friendlier and more generous. And more often than not the locals reciprocate our kindness and generosity. We come away thinking great things about the people in the country we visited, and wonder why the folks back home aren’t the same. But we fail to see the part we played in the treatment we received. Life at home can be like a holiday too if we learn to be kind, friendly and warm
And, remember, compassion for others begins with compassion for yourself. So talk to yourself in nurturing ways.Be kind. Treat yourself with the same care and attention you would hope for from others. Then when you’ve mastered that stage, spread your kindness to people you care about, people you feel neutral about, and people you can’t stand.
Most people you meet are fighting a difficult battle. They’re battling with stressful jobs, unfulfilled jobs, difficult relationships, financial troubles or ill health. Few of us get through life without a major difficultly. Most people are hurting. And let’s face it:hurting people hurt people. So be kind. What they need is healing, not another beating. It’s tough, I know, especially when you’ve been hurt by the person you want to be kind to.But remember, compassion is the ability to treat people better than (you think) they deserve.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should put up with abuse. If someone is attacking you, defend yourself. Kindnessdoesn’t mean weakness. So take appropriate action, but compassionate. I guess the key word here is ‘appropriate’because if (figuratively speaking) you can warn off an aggressor with a firm hand, why use a fist?
That’s not all. You need to understand this: kindness begets kindness. Take holidays, for example. When we’re relaxed and on holiday we become friendlier and more generous. And more often than not the locals reciprocate our kindness and generosity. We come away thinking great things about the people in the country we visited, and wonder why the folks back home aren’t the same. But we fail to see the part we played in the treatment we received. Life at home can be like a holiday too if we learn to be kind, friendly and warm
And, remember, compassion for others begins with compassion for yourself. So talk to yourself in nurturing ways.Be kind. Treat yourself with the same care and attention you would hope for from others. Then when you’ve mastered that stage, spread your kindness to people you care about, people you feel neutral about, and people you can’t stand.
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