Martial artists ultimately strive for harmony. Sure they train to fight, but paradoxically that gives then a choice not to. They don't back down from conflict, they seek to resolve it. They look for the common ground, areas of agreement. They compromise.
Most people shy away from conflict. They hate to fight. But opposing attitudes, opinions or approaches don't have to turn into a wrestling match. Conflict can be positive. But, still, most people avoid it. And they end up feeling frustrated and resentful towards other people. However, be very clear: inaction doesn't solve disagreements. Conflict needs to be managed before it becomes a destructive force.
A lot can be learnt from the martial arts when it comes to handling conflict. Martial artists understand the importance of taking early action. They're vigilant. They monitor the climate. And their powers of observation give them an early warning system. If they detect conflict in the air, they don't become aggressive or avoid solving the situation. They stay calm and assertive. They take the time to understand the real cause of the situation. They see the other person's point of view. And they find an acceptable way forward. Simply put: they compromise.
Make no mistake: compromise isn't abut lowering your standards or giving up your values for others. It's about reducing your demands or changing your opinion in order to reach an agreement. Compromise is wrong when it means sacrificing a principle. We all have standards. And if our minimum level isn't met it's going to lead to disharmony. So strike the right balance. Don't compromise yourself.
Compromise is wrong when it means sacrificing a principle.
Conflict can evoke strong emotions so the key is to deal with it when you're feeling calm. Refrain from knee-jerk reactions. Take time to think the problem through and plan a constructive way to handle the situation. Reach an agreement that is acceptable to both sides.
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