Defend Chapter 26

For as long as humans have been on this earth we have been a snack for wild beasts, or even other humans. Thousands of years ago when a hungry lion sniffed us out, or a marauding warrior tracked us down, we had one of three choices: run, fight or die. Often running wasn't an option - have you ever tried to outrun a lion? So, really, there were only two choices:fight or die. Clearly dying doesn't take much practice - so we quickly learnt to fight.

Today there's not much chance of a wild beast hunting you down. And, thankfully, unprovoked physical attacks are rare. So there isn't much need for self-defense. But what isn't rare is unprovoked emotional attacks - which, incidentally, can feel like a wild beast hunting you down. The trouble is we have highly developed martial arts but few forms of emotional self-defense. I guess what we need most is training in 'tongue-fu' , not kung-fu. So in a bit I'll show you some defensive techniques.

But before I do, let's face it.

Everybody likes to please others. If we please our friends, boss or peers they're more likely to help us. And if we want to keep our jobs and friends it helps if these people think good things about us too. But sometimes we're so eager to be liked we end up working too hard to please others and forget to please ourselves. Other times we take the need to please too far allow others to manipulate and abuse us.

Unfortunately there'll always be people who for whatever reason dish out abusive jokes, try to manipulate you with emotional blackmail, or sabotage your professional objectives with political behavior. But you don't have to be a passive victim. Not if you defend yourself. So take a stand. But set limits because you don't want to be on edge or overreact to every ambiguous comment or gesture. If you feel things have been taken too far, first go in with a light tap. If the behavior doesn't stop, try again.If a tap still doesn't work, don't hesitate ... go in with a knockout punch.

You don't have to be passive victim, take a stand.